Sunday, April 11, 2021

Boundaries by Tamara Leavitt

 My meditation this morning really struck me and I just needed to write it down. This is by Tamara Leavitt and I found it on the CALM app.

Recently, I had a conversation with a friend about the importance of creating boundaries. 

Most of us strive to be nice. We want to please people and be accommodating. The question is, at what cost? If we don't honor our own needs and take the initiative to create boundaries for our self, resentment arises... and that doesn't serve anyone. 

We are invited to social events that we don't feel like going to, but we still say yes. Our family, our friends expect us to act in ways that don't feel comfortable, but we do our best. We're asked of our time when we're busy with deadlines. Many of us have a difficult time saying no when it's what we want to say most. We're concerned people will judge us. We worry about repercussions or missed opportunities. There's this sense that we owe an explanation. But do we? Isn't okay to say no when that's what we mean? 

As Brene Brown said, daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others. So what if it were okay to disappoint others if it meant honoring your own needs? How would it feel to trust that you know what is right and best for you and say what you really mean. Perhaps what's necessary is to realize that sometimes when we say no to others, we're saying yes to ourselves. 

The next time someone asks something of you and you really want to set boundaries, perhaps remind yourself that saying no can be an act of self-care.

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